I am currently reading PUSH by Chalene Johnson. I have been looking for a good personal development book to read and I have definitely found it!

Do you struggle with internal thoughts of not being good enough, thin enough, smart enough, etc? I know I do….all the time. In her book she talks about making a decision. If you are going to change your life in whatever direction that may be….you have to make a decision! She says ” Whether you believe you’ll reach your goal and maintain a happy weight the rest of your life….or that you’ve just wasted your hard earned money on yet another diet book, either way, you’re right!”

So often I tell myself I’m not good enough for that job…or I can’t stick with that workout program because I’m too A.D.D. “What you believe about yourself shapes the course of your life!” No wonder my life has taken the turns it has. It hasn’t been bad…but it is definitely not the life I had foreseen when I was younger.

Well….I’m making a decision to push past the negativity that I put on myself and I’m going to push myself towards my goals. I can do this and I will! What about you? Do you get caught up in this way of thinking too?

The first part of making your decision starts with identifying the most important things in your life that are your priorities.  Some may be so ingrained in you that you don’t even think about it.  They have become the core of who you are.  This is a difficult thing for me.  I have tried so hard over the past 8 years or so to provide for our family that I have lost sight of my priorities…or what makes me tick.  Family has always been at the core but I’ve lost sight of what makes me happy.  I am slowly learning to focus on these things again.  I guess I’ve never allowed myself to think about this.  I just keep forging forward.  But I’ve noticed that as I’ve trudged on, I have lost happiness and the energy that I used to have.  There was a day where I saw myself as an Internal Designer for large companies but then I realized that I would have to speak in front of large groups of people.  I told myself that I couldn’t do that….so I didn’t.  I then went on to become a teacher in elementary education but then in one of my internships early on in college, realized that I’d have to work with high energy, disrespectful kids and I told myself that I couldn’t do that.  So I didn’t.  Then one day I realized that I was good at helping others and I loved seeing them brought back to health so I worked my way through school and became an RN.  There were many times that I told myself I couldn’t do it…but I kept trudging on and finally after six years of taking one or two classes at a time, I graduated with my associates degree in nursing, took my national boards, and became licensed as an RN.  This was the only thing I did not talk myself out of.  Now I’m an RN on a cardiac unit and have recently obtained my bachelors in nursing (BSN) and I catch myself talking negatively towards furthering my education.  Mostly due to monetary issues but also for the fear that I won’t do well in whatever field I choose to go after.

So my priorities now are obviously to my family as I am a mother of two young children.  Decisions are a lot harder to make now that I have others to take care of before myself.  But I’ve realized that if I don’t take care of myself and do what makes me happy, I won’t be a very good example to them.

The one thing that keeps coming back to me as I think about this is that I’ve always wanted to work with the under-served, low income communities.  There were times I pictured this as mission work…and someday maybe I’ll be able to do this.  But I live in a community that struggles very much with poverty.  Poverty is very much in my face on a day to day basis.

My number one priority is to develop my own education in nursing, health, and nutrition so that I can aid in the health and betterment of the community around me!  I also want to be able to be able to be more present with my family as I raise my children.  I have exciting opportunities at my fingertips and I can’t wait to grasp them!


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